idunnowhattoputyet

2009-03-08T23:45:00.003+08:00

Im back to my life...my world...
After my happy moments with my dear.

He is back into his happy life.
After losing him, seems to be so empty.
But, he seems happier.
So wat if i misses him.
haahaa...
Ting, get used to it ba.
Dun think u are fit to be in a relationship.

Thinking back...
All the memories...
God~~
They are so precious...
They seems so real....
Really wish they can prolong until now..
But, its all a dream...

Talking abt dream...
I been dreaming abt him.
Cant sleep much.
Dunno why, he seems to be appearing in my dreams..
He is so cute, loving...
He hugged me..
God...

But, when i wake up...
Everything gone...
*Boom...
Just a dream...
How i wish i dun need to wake up...

2009-01-19T15:25:00.002+08:00

Life without u seems to be funny.
But, i need to learn to be mature...
Handle things in a mature way.

Things seems to turn out rotten whenever im starting to get used to it.
Should i still believe in love??
Things seems to be so different now..

The things u used to tell me..
The love i used to get from u...
The care i used to get from u...
The sms i used to get from u...
The laughter i used to get from u...
The hugs i used to get from u...
The kisses i used to get from u...
The scolding i used to get from u...
The shouting i used to get from u...
Where have they gone to?

Yes, im emo..
Im feeling very down...
I will try to handle it maturely...
But, there are times where i will still be all alone..
Sometimes, its not that i dun wanna listen to u...
Im listening to watever u told me...
I rmb all the things u tell me...

I dunno wat i wanna do now...
I got no heart to do anything...
I wish im dead now..
I didnt know it was this ending...

Rmb the days at the playground??
Rmb wat u told me...
This is why i hesitated..
Im afraid this will happen..
But, seeing the way u treated me...cared for me..
I told myself...
U are the one..
U will love me..
cared for me...
u wont throw me aside...
U will always be there for me...

Treated u like my dear...
Dearest dear...
Someone that i wish to continue my life with...
Despite the way u scolded me...
I know u care thats why u scolded me...

How i wish u can scold me like last time...
At least, i still know u care...

if hurting myself can at least get ur attention...
I dun mind...
U may see me stupid, foolish doing all those...
But, i think its worth it...

I know...
Now, im just another passer by to u...
All the feelings u had for me before had all gone...
I dunno how to get them back...

I just wish i can get drunk and forget everything..
Donno wat i doing...
At least, thats the moment where by i know i can temperately forget u...

Dear..
I dunno wat to say...
U go do ur stuffs ba...
Take good care of yourself...

2008-12-22T14:45:00.002+08:00

Below are some of the pictures taken from the Fahrenheit Concert:
I am sitting at the VVIP seat all thankz to my Ah Bu, Miss Priscilla.

Just started awhile ago.
Around 8.30pm.

This is one of the items in the goodies bag.
Some of the goodies bag was taken by other ppl esp the fan because the idol's names are printed on the individual fans.

This is taken when i just entered the stadium.
There are so many speakers.
And Im so "lucky" that got a few of the humongous speakers right in front of me.

2008-12-07T22:35:00.002+08:00

One more day to my Business Statistic.
Wooo...
Guess wat, my statictis will start at 7pm to 10pm.
God~~ Why so funny one ar...
Exam start at night ar...

And, my FIT will be held at Dhoby Ghaut...
First time ar...
Having my exam at Dhoby Ghaut...
_______________________

Dear juz got back from a 1 week camp...
Guess, he should be really tired ba...
Dun dare to sms him too much...
Eye twitching...
Is it a bad omen??
Hope it would be something good...

Christmas is coming...
Wooooo~~~

2008-12-06T18:00:00.002+08:00

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love....<3
__________________________

Today, been staying at home the whole day...
Next tuesday is my statistics and thursday is my FIT...
God...And Im like all stuck...
I dunno wat I wanna do...
And these are the last two modules...
No more studying...
Im getting my Diploma in Business Management soon....
And, Im heading into the working life...
What should I do to my Degree life??
Part-time?? Full-time??or no more studying??
My eye been twitching...*GOD*
Is something gonna happen??

Think Im going to get my PDL after my exam.
And, Im going to get my stupid license..
God... Wasted 6 months...
And, I need to spend "some" cash on my driving... :)
Why do we need a license...
************************************
Btw, where u gone??
Are u tired??
I dun have any information from u...
Are u safe and sound at home sleeping??
Where are u??
Haiz...

2008-10-27T21:55:00.002+08:00

Nearly had a steam facial...
Nearly need to go hospital yesterday...
Because dad's car no water...
Den dad dunno...
Only see the metter went to the hot zone...
And dunno wat happen...
Den dad juz stopped the van and take a look..
Juz nice the van water one is located at the back seat there...
Den dad juz open up with me inside..

Den suddenly hear the steam coming out..
the Pissssssss sound...
Thank god...dad nv let go of the cover...if not...
Everyone...
U wont have news of wt anymore yo..
If not, i also wont dare to look for all my frenz..
I wont have the face to see u all ar...
Really, no more face... :)

2008-10-03T00:50:00.002+08:00

Such a failure...
Failure in everything...

Oh god...
Wat good do i deserve?
dying dun help anything...
why am i digging my own grave??
How stupid and idiotic can i be...
Wat a day yesterday...

Sorry for letting u worry, gracie...
I dun mean to...
Really...
maybe im not the one for him...
Hearing u so close to the gal makes me jealous...

why do all my relationship hurts that badly?

Mayb i will left on shelf for the rest of my life ba...
Maybe im juz a fucker...
haahaa...
Im a fucker....
Weeee~ I fuck around...
lalalalalal~~~
I didnt know im such a slut....

2008-09-21T00:44:00.002+08:00

WAH!!!
wat a job training i got...
2nd day hands-on pratical...
TC, pressure!!!
Nearly cried out today..
its so demoralizing...

God....
Callers....WOooooo~~
But, some are so cute...
Thanks for those that kind hearted ones...
haahaa... :)
Really appreciate u all...

11 bucks...u are hard man...
Jia You...
Wt dun give up..
Believe in urself...
U can do it...
God!!!!

2008-09-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

Oh god~~
Dad's car engine....GONE~~
JI BA BOOM~~~
One big hole...
Black oil along the road and other "ding ding dong dong".
now no more transportation...

Wat a funny thing is that, it broke down at near dear's place...
Chua Chu Kang Rd....haahaa...

Oh god...
Starting training on 150908(Monday)
Wish me luck....
11 bucks/hr....
haahaa...

2008-09-08T23:54:00.002+08:00

Recently juz met up with my 8 other galies...
I was late again...*haahaa*
Sorry gals...
Went to Gracey hse for a gathering...
Den we took other pictures of one another...
So funny~~all kinds of funny kuku stuffs happen...
After not long, our sabby went off...*naughty gal go off so early**arbish*

Den we chit-chat, gossip...
Afterall, a group of gals wat else can we do??*haahaa*
And, we got KFC Mega Meal for dinner....*CooL*
So nice~~
Really hope time can stop....
And, we watch oldies VCDes and others played mahjong, big two...etc....
And they win each other coins...haahaa...

Overall, wat a wonderful gathering we had...wahaha~~~
Everyone is getting prettier yo...

And Mary, thanks for missing my rubbery skin...wahaha...
Feel free to play with them...*only for u*muackz..
haahaa...

2008-08-26T00:01:00.003+08:00

I met kenn,gw,lien,joa,rong chang recently.
Wow~~
Joa been into NS...
Everyone seems no diff...
Still the same old lame...and funny.
Altot i find it kind of weird with me tagging along.
But, it was kind of fun.
Ate Aston...Play pool...Watch death race*Cool movie*
Took the last 99 bus...
Made dear angry...*Haiz*

back to studying ba...
Concentrate ba....

2008-08-25T23:50:00.005+08:00

So bored...
Having my exams in one week's time..
Oh god...
1 sept and 3rd sept.
Haven seen him for quite sometime.
But, nvm...
I brought this upon myself.

He is busy clearing his stuffs as he is moving on this sat to his grandma's place to stay.
So ya, careful when packing ur stuffs.
Take care of mummy...She overworked her back...
Aunty, take care of urself ar...
Heavy stuffs call Mark to help u with ba.
I sms aunty, feel so bad. So long nv go see her liao.
Got the heart, but im not doing it. So it is as good as not doing it.
Ya, cuz to him, action speaks louder than words.
Cuz thats wat everyone says.
Haiz...
I really got think of...
But, will anyone believe me?
I wonder.....

Fading...drifting....dunno wat to say....
Juz holding on if i can...
If u found a much more better gal, guess u will be much more happier than now ba.
I dun seems to know much things from u liao...
I dun have informations abt the things u do...
haiz...Im such a failure.
But, i dun blame anyone but me myself.
My frenz also said is me at fault, which i agree...
Im trying to correct myself...
do u believe?

But, i juz dun like the attitude and the way, he treated me when he is pissed off...
I know im at fault...But, u dun have to use such harsh words ba...
I know i idiot...but, nvm...haiz....

Next post........
Em, really wonder who is the anon???
Someone that care abt me??
Emmmm..... who???
Thanks for u tagging on my tag-board...
Thank you for ur concern towards me too...
:)

2008-07-18T19:47:00.002+08:00

Nothing i say now will save me from this.
Cuz u juz dun believe me.
Like wat u said, i done nth to let u believe me.
But, all this needs time.
I cant change everything juz over one day.
Im a person that likes to mix around.
Thus, that resulted alot of things which i dunno how to solve.
I didnt know my personality would bring so much agony to u.

Can anyone juz tell me.
Wat kind of person i am?
I like u, really.
Have u in my heart, but u dun believe.
That hurts me. ( i know u dun believe)
U would be thinking im out with my frenz.
I really dunno how to explain to u.
Cuz by explaining will juz make things darker.

I really dunno how i can solve it.
Thinking of letting u go, kind of hurts me.
I dun wan to.
If by letting u go, will let u live and be happier i will do that.
I know, every gal says that.
That seems to be a often used phrase.
I really am speechless.

I agree im running away from the problem.
Cuz i really dunno wat to say to u.
How i wish things can go back, den i wont accept u and i wont make u so miserable anymore.
If i know i would bring u so much negative things, i wont accept u.
Cuz by rejecting u will bring u happiness.
Im not a good gf...
Right?
Think everyone agrees....
Wenting dun worth anyone treating her good.
She is better off dying.
Dont u all juz agree??
Speechless.............

2008-07-08T00:25:00.002+08:00

I dunno wat i can say to u, im on the phone with u.
But, im speechless once again.
Hearing u say all those things abt me, urself.
Make me speechless. i dunno wat i can do.
I think im going crazy...

Did i make the wrong choice?
Did i had a bf at the wrong period of time?
Telling me u are a BIG FAT LOSER doesnt help.
Thanks!

Telling me all those DOESNT HELP AT ALL!!!!
FUCK!!!!
WHY ALL MY RELATIONSHIP ENDED UP LIKE THAT!!!
I AM SUCH A SUCKER!!!!
THANKZ...

U KNOW WAT I WANNA DO NOW?
GET OUT OF THIS WORLD AND U WONT MAKE PPL SUFFER ANYMORE.
FIRST, HY....NOW MARK.
WT, WAT A FUCKER, BITCH U ARE.
U ARE MEANT TO STAY SINGLE FOR LIFE.
LEAVE HIM...STOP MAKING HIM MISERABLE, STOP HANGING ONTO HIM, U ARE NOT GIVING HIM ANY HAPPINESS, HE IS MISERABLE WITH U AROUND.
JUZ LIKE WAT KIM SAID.
IM SUCH A USELESS, BITCHY, SLUT, WATEVER U CALL ME.

SO GUYS OUT THERE, STAY AWAY FROM ME.
BEST LEAVE ME, HURT ME, SLAP ME, SCOLD ME, KILL ME.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE.

Aunty, sorry... im not a good gf to mark.
I like u alot, aunty and uncle.
i really do.
Thank you for treating me so nice.
I feel so dote by u all.
Thank u for all the presents and dinner i had with u all.
Really hope i can continue to maintain this good relationship with aunty, uncle.

ah!!!!!!!!!!!!
I going crazy.
I caused all the scars, wounds.
FUCK man...
Wat else im good at?
Thinking of getting good grades but, i ended up losing many things.
its all my fault!!!!!!!ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!
shall i die???does dying solve all the problems?
my fault!!!MY FAULT!!!
SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!!!!
WT, U SUCK BIG TIME!!!!

2008-05-23T21:59:00.002+08:00

Wenting,
U got a pathetic life.
Dont u juz love to jeopardize ur own life.
Make urself miserable.

U dun deserve anything good.
Cuz u dun think for people.
Fcuk u that im such a bitch.

Had a dream, I was bang by a car.
My soul seems to have been knocked out from my body and i juz woke up.
This is the first dream that seems so real to me.

Wat if, wat if it really happen to me?
Not to be emo.
I know I shouldnt be thinking all these.

U are the cause of all the problems now.
So, u urself should take it.
Dun blame other ppl cuz u cant.

Tried to be nice,
But, it doesnt help.
It backfired...
Made me feel useless, speechless..
U doesnt trust me anymore.
I know, i dun blame u.
Im the cause of it.

Im feeling very very miserable.
I wanna talk to someone.
I wanna tell him how i feel.
But, i juz cant seems to do the right thing.
I seems to make him feel worsen.
Knowing ur eye, ur back , mayb ur heart that hurts the most?
I cant do anything.Cuz im the one that cause all the scars, wounds on u.
I cut them on u. I am such a failure being a gf.

Im not chatting with anyone except cy.
Im looking at bags.

2008-05-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

I passed my Ftt today...
Weeeee~~ One shot.
Happy...Happy~~

Wah, the experience is...so...scary...
Hesitating to click end test...
See the PASSED!!!
Wooohoooo~~~Fly into the air...

Practical next...
Jia You...
But, still need go for the practical training...
Wish everything goes smoothly...

2008-05-07T22:53:00.002+08:00

NOTICE TO KQS

Can all KQs' email me their best looking photos??
No matter is their single photo or in groups...
(best is with our own class one)

Can juz send me?
I hoping to draw out a class photo by hand out for us.
Hope KQs' can pass this msg around...

My email is chocoevil@hotmail.com.

Thankz...

2008-04-24T23:57:00.002+08:00

This blog is getting bored...
Haahaa...
No more excitement...
WOoo..
Mayb im going private...
Take 6 months to grad...coool~~

Haiz...
Tagboard is dying too...
Been working from day to night...
Sianz...

Poly is so near...yet so far....
Dream on~~~

2008-04-12T23:40:00.001+08:00

Poly..poly..poly...
There goes my dream...

My life is always such disappointment...
Oh god....

Crap...
Even MSN giving me problems..
Sad case...
Haa!

2008-04-08T21:01:00.002+08:00

Haahaa..
Thankz u all...

Having fun here ar...
Its been a very long time since my blog so active...

Anyway, all the things that Kim tag...
Actually i also got no idea wat she talking abt...
I dun understand...
haahaa....

Poly, poly..
I wish, I wish....I wish for POLY...
God...help me...

2008-04-02T23:02:00.002+08:00

okay, to put things straight first, I AM MARK. NOT WENTING.

ok...here goes. sorry for my poor english btw.

to ms kimberly aka sortathing, it's kinda scary for me to see how things have took a turn for the worst. Ms, i can understand that u are HELPING a friend, or i should say, STANDING UP for your present BOYFRIEND (sorry for bold-ing the words. i KINDA love to do such things). to say the truth, i don really have a problem with that. it's natural for u to stand up for him. jus like what i'm doing right now. i hope this post of mine, has got enough weight to put an end to all things once and for all. this crap is getting nowhere, IF U CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT.

previously, i had actually told wt off for bothering too much into this matter. cuz to me, if it's over, it's over. i don blame her for being upset. But being affected by ur words is kinda too much. i kept telling her to jus ignore ur harsh words. but she didn heed my advice. which, is her character. so all i did as her bf was to step outta this crap and supported her. but today, i decided to step in cuz it's getting outta hand. way way outta hand.

MISS, if u can take a look at things at a diff angle, i hope u'll see things differently, which u have apparently failed to do so. if i'm not wrong, u stated sth like, hy is free to go or do what he likes or whatsoever...right? well, so is wt. she has the freedom to sms hy and ask him for his results as a FRIEND. (noticed how i BOLD the word here??) and to my knowledge, wt did tell hy tt she had changed her number. well, it's also his FREEDOM to save or not to save her new number. but, whether his phone is with HIM OR NOT is yet another story. well, back to my point. let's ASSUME that he HAS his precious hp with him, and he did not save her new number. is it her fault to get pissed? may be it is. may be not. cuz as a friend, why didn hy save her number? was he being too much of a fool to lose a friend after a failed relationship? is he holding onto the belief that a man and woman cant be friends only? but, there's always 2 sides to a coin. MAY BE HIS HP WASN EVEN WITH HIM AT ALL!!! AND ALL THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CONTACT HIM, WASN TALKING TO HIM AT ALL!!! So, the mystery here is, if it isn him, who is it then???? well, that's like what i said, is another story.

okay, i've not much recollection abt wat has happened actually, cuz to me, it's pure bullshit, cuz i'm actually looking at an adult, trying to push her WEIGHT(may be literally, sorry if this sounds personal. i'm still a kiddo, yeah..) about, trying to be a saint here (did u come form tt sch which has the sentence,"once a saint, always a saint" sch? is it st andrews??? i really wonder...), talking abt not being able to take it lying down when LITTLE MISS SAINT here sees her friend being bullied. look, saint or no saint, i find u being a totally shrewd here..(.hmm....not sure if i can use this word here, but hey, it sounds nice to me....so, what the heck man....haha.....kk....back to my story...). this is a problem of boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, both got tgt, went to diff sch, one party found a better partner, in this case, hy and U...(i shall insert maroon 5's "makes me wonder" in here...well, title only la...), partner leaves the other party...blah blah blah, heck i don think anyone here need further elaboration...so.............................after much of my crap talk there, it kinda boils down to how hy wanna settle stuffs with wt.......right? dont really seem to be the correct approach if the new-found partner steps in and interfer with this problem of theirs (which is why i didn in the first place......till now)...right? i hope i make some sense here....cuz SOME BEGS TO DIFFER...

i don see the reason as to ur previous posts in the tagboard. but obviously u do, and i suspect u did see a reason with a tinge of pleasure in it. my qn is, why are u reacting in such a huge manner? yeah, i would guess that u would say sth like this in general, "hy is my friend, i wanna speak up for him, for being scolded for no rhyme no reason." well, u are a lecuterer, i'm sure u do know how to look at things first, before jumping abt like a mad dog, barking at diff trees and peeing all over the place? cuz, i'm very certain that which ur capabilities as a lecturer, u are able to look at things in a calm manner. cuz, it seems like u have a very wide circle of toyboys...i meant, male students are "abangs", or brothers, or best bud, fyi, "abang" is a slang for that. but, seems like the govt has wasted quite an amt of $$$ on training u. cuz u have failed to apply what u have learnt to use in ur daily life. the best example of this is the very way u handle this issue as an adult or as a gf or as a lecturer. it was bad enough to have a lecturer getting involved with a student, but, he isn a student now, so u are kinda cleared of that guilt. but whether there's any sexual contents involved in ur story, is unknown, and kindly keep it to urself.

but what is worst here right now is the way u have handled this issue. instead of keeping it down and try to settle things properly, there u are attacking and attacking with malicious words and, even as wt has said that she is willing to let it go and let the issue rest. so, frm this point of view, it seems like u have a hidden motive. what is it actually? are u trying to tell all of us that u are alive and kicking? and kicking at the wrong tree too?

take a good look at the whole issue again. who is bothering who? wt bothering hy or wt bothering u or u bothering wt and everyone with ur words? to my recent knowledge, she did sms hy to ask abt his dog. to u, it may seem like she wanna get close to him thru his pet. but tt's how u think. and it's for u to think, and her to know. go figure it out urself and don bother answering it. are u actually feeling insecured abt having hy sms-ing wt? are u afraid of losing him? cuz if u arent afraid of losing him and u are able to think that it's jus a matter of time before u 2 go ur separate ways, den why are u doing all this? is it purely jus to stand up for him? is so, is there a need to use such words as shameless and is there a need to put ur words in such a harsh manner? as a matter of fact, i dont know who the heck u are and i don wish to know. do u actually take such harsh words from a stranger? i may even pass by u and don even know who u are?! god dammit. who are u to actually tell everyone here off jus bcuz we are not speaking ur lingo? well, it tt gives u the right, so do i....i do have the right to do so too. besides, arent u ashamed to be told off by ppl younger than u? of cuz, there u go, saying age doesnt matter here. well, it really doesn. but what puts me off is to tell a person who's older than me, and is a lecturer at that!! that's what's bugging me.

i've seen how small kiddos are turning out to be nowadays. they go, FUCK U, the moment they are not happy with u. i blame it on their parents. but here, i blame u for u own poor upbringing. cuz u have thrown the face of an adult. it's unbecoming of an lecturer to come here and start to argue her way thru and speaking as tho u are HY...knowing his every thoughts, movements and even the fucking underwear he is planning to wear. it's like, wtf man. u have disgraced ur sch do u know that? u have disgraced urself and ur life. sad to say this, ur parents too. cuz too me, u have no upbringing at all. i'm sorry to say this. as for me, i have my flaws too, cuz i've rebutted too much and too sarcastically. for that, i apologize.

anyways, back to my main point. i do hope that after reading this post, i hope both of u do wake up from this slumber and shut the fuck up. stop all this nonsense and get on with ur fucking lives. u can go on teaching ur toyboys while wt can carry on her own live. simple as that. i hope that u wont reply. i also hope that i'm not too naive to think that i do have the ability to shut the 2 of u up. i really hope so. cuz it's really, like wat i've said, unbecoming to see 2 grown ups, who dono who the fuck is who, squabbling over a boy, who has no balls to actually stand up and settle it. all he does is to cut his wrists, cry like a freak, act like one and even think like one. all he does is to keeps things to himself. for what? is that is still the case, i feel sad for him. cuz as his friend, which i am, tho not sure abt now, it seems like he is still the same weakling as before. no matter how much he has gotten for his "A"s, he's still a weakling deep inside him.

so, like i said, if both of u are sensible enough, jus shut up and don talk abt this anymore. it's not like he is going to commit suicide right? don tell me that he is going to take the SAR21 and blow his head off?? right?

so, thank you kimberly for reading this post, if u have, and pls, refrain your touchy fingers from trying to type sth unconstructive solve this issue out on the cbox. unless it's a white flag that u are raising, pls, don put ur granny pants out for us to see. and thanks to all who have helped to fight back. i do hope that everyone here does the same thing and jus leave this matter alone. this matter is like a child who's throwing a tantrum. once u leave him to cool down, he'll revert to his normal ways, being that wonderful and cute little thing u've all dreamed of. so, let us have a bice memory of the past.

okay guys?

thanks once again for reading.

cheers,
MARK

2008-04-02T18:45:00.002+08:00

If u still wanna think that way,
I dun find a point to keep explaining to u.
Not that i dun agree with u.
Somethings i do agree with u.
Cuz sometimes explaining will only "blacken" how ppl think of that things.
"yue miao yue hei".

I dun wan this to go on.
Like i mention earlier, it will bring this problem no where.
It will juz be a waste of time if u look back.
Its always better to have a fren den a foe.
I dun wanna know if u wanna be my fren or watever.
(Cuz given the impression u got of me is nth good.)

I also dunno how to explain to u.
But, if hy wanna contact me(if he ever wants) he still can.
Cuz he is still my fren.
I dun wanna keep arguing with u here.

I dun care whether u like hy or hy like u.
I dun care whether he is interested in u or the other way round.

I juz wanna lead a happy life.
I would prefer to have a fren den a foe.
I wan to smile in my life.
U can keep on arguing.
I see ur point of wanting me to understand wat u or hy trying to say or do.

U juz cant stand WE "BULLYING" hy.
Cuz he dun wanna stand up to himself.

Which he finds it pointless.
He will think everyone will standby me.(which i dun think so)
The frenz that we know which are whom hy knows too.
Will judge fairly.
They are not those that will side anyone.

Watever u said abt me,
that im venting anger on hy by concerning or holding on to the point which he "ill-treat" me as the weak point so that i can juz give him attitude or watever.
up to u.
I got no more comment.
Cuz thats how u see me.
And if thats how hy see me, im really disappointed.

Everyone changes.
Ppl change for the good.

Thats all i wanna say.
If u wanna pin-point.
Pin-point me will do.
No point saying my fren.
They are juz commenting.
Not that im saying u got no rights to comment.
But, if u were to ignore.
Wont it be a much more better world.

If hy were to ignore the part where he thinks he is neglecting me.
All this wont happen.

If u were to ignore wat im doing.
All this wont happen.

But, sometimes ignore will kill.

If hy replied my sms. Stop thinking ignoring will help.
All this wont happen.

At a point, u are doing something good.
But, if u over do it.
It is worthless and it will backfire.
Know ur limit.

Everything has two sides.
Positive and negative.

But, i apologise for wat i did to hy if he feels that im pressuring him.
Or anything i did to make him feel upset, bothered, etc.

I know saying sorry doesnt help but, thats all i can do for now.

At least i said sorry.Hy nv did.
(He juz IGNORE me.)
The thing that he do is really upsetting me.
Am i being "guo fen" to say all that of him?(including last time)

But, nvm.
Its over.
Im not trying to show anything.(juz in case u think that im trying to gain sympathy or yao ren ke lian wo)
I juz wanna be frenz.
Nth more den that.
And i miss melody.

Lien, i really appreciate wat u done for me.
Thankz.
But, dun think u will want to continue ba. :)

The end.

2008-03-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

Thankz those that are helping me.

To Kim.
Are u tired of helping him argue?
Not that im calling him names.
But, wat made me do that?
I dun anyhow call my fren names unless those that really agitated me.(esp chinese)
If u dun believe, ask my frenz.
But, i dun think u will get to. And u wont even bother to do that cuz im not related to u in anyways.

Have u heard before.
If u dun love/like one, shall i say if u got/dun have feelings for someone,
Y would u feel that we are "bullying" him and stand up for him?
Mayb u are doing so in a fren way.
I dun blame u.
But, seems like u "take up too much of his problems ba".
Even a FREN wont bother until so much.
Guess u are being a very good gal-"FREN".

This is not call demand.
The reason that he gave me is like wat?

1st reason: Not enough time to spend with me?
My reply: i dun mind, its okay with me.

2nd reason: (which i also dun rmb.)
Cuz they dun sound like reason to me.
And u are by his side.
Wat kind of fren are u?
advising ur fren to break up with his gf.

The only reasonable reasons are like:
1) he got no more feelings for me.
2) he interested in another gal.
or any other reasonable reasons.

If he really wanna break up with me.
Why cant he juz say one of those reasons?
Izzit that more useful compare to those reasons he gave me.

i dun see the point to continue arguing.
Cuz its nv ending.
Since u are on his side, u will always think he is doing the right thing.
As, watever he is doing is all the advice he got from u all him.
But, its up to him to decide wat to do.
So ya, if u all advice him to talk to me.
Talk things out, instead of breaking on the phone.
Have u hear b4.
Zai jia kao fu mu, chu wai kao peng you.

During that period of time i understand that he got his work to settle.
I dun blame him.
As a normal gf, confirm will duo duo shao shao complaint abit ba.
I dun mind going to his place to juz see him for awhile after school.
I tried my best to be a good, understanding gf.
Maybe to him, i expect too much from him ba.
And he feel pressured by me.

But, he should know i dun give up on something until the last moment.
Juz like how i tried to tell him vent his anger on other things and other ways of venting of anger.
Maybe he forgotten wat he promised me.
But, i wont forget.
Maybe he forgotten how we got tgt.
But, I wont forget.
I wont forget all the happy moments with him.
If u really like someone, u would also accept who he is, wat he do.
Ai wu ji wu.
I feel so happy when he told me he love me.(although not by mouth, its okay.)
Despite all those sms that i send, those calls that i tried hard calling him,
he nv replied, im fine.Im okay with them.

No point telling u.
Cuz u wont understand, since u say u are not those chi qing de ren.

Anyway, forget it la.
Pointless to continue.
Cuz im talking to u. Not hy.

by the way, I have moved on with my life.
I got a new partner.who will take care of me.
support me.care for me.dote me.
Not that im saying hy nv.Hy also did.
He did his best, i know.
But......nvm.

So ya. I shall end here.

2008-03-28T20:01:00.002+08:00

Im not trying to gain sympathy.
Anyway, i nv use other ppl number to sms hy.
Thats my new number.
I did sms him with the new number b4, telling him i changed the number.
U cant blame me for scolding him.Cuz im not satisfied with hy.
I dun know wat he told u abt me, or watever shit.

Im juz purely asking how he scored as a FRIEND.
wat do i get in return?
I dun even know who is replyin me.
He is the one avoiding me.
I tried being a fren.Care like a fren.
Its up to u/hy if u/hy think that i got motive juz by asking/concern abt hy.Tats too bad.
The only way i can be updated or even know how hy is doing is by sms.
Dun expect me to call his hse.he cant use phone for too long if the problem haven changed.
Its like the few ways of communicating him is thru MSN(which i think he blocked me),sms, his fren(which i dunno much abt).

I am very frustrated with him.He is such a coward. U cant blame me for thinking so cuz like wat u said the result show.

I scold him for wat?I scold him for not settling this problem himself.I scold him for being so wishy-washy.This problem should not concern u at all.Its between me and him.
But, I thank u(KIM) for telling me.
He thinks that by ignoring me can solve this. Tell him he is wrong!
If he wans me to hate him.Tell him he done it.He SUCCESSFULLY done it.
The impression i got for HY for this current HY is heartless, cruel and coward. He Is two totally different person.He wasnt like this when he was in Sec.I dunno wat cause the change in him. Or mayb is us that changed.I dunno. Cuz cant communicate with him.

I dun blame him for not confronting me.
I blame him for not explaining to me even after so long.Even after he got u.
He called u to ignore me. Wat does that mean?
Im also a woman. U expect me to juz wait for u?
Am i such a disgrace to woman.Why do i hang on?U know y?Do u know why MR TAN.
Am i so bu zhi lian ci. Pls i still know when to let go.

If u dun have feelings for me anymore. Juz tell me.
Would that even hurt him?
Which would hurt more him or me?

But, anyway no point arguing now.
Cuz no use. Waste of time.
Since he got u. Den i wish u both all the best.
U both got my best wishes.

U also old enough liao.
No point arguing with me this bu dong shi de xiao hai zi.
It will not get us anywhere.
Only either one of us take a step back and let it be den this will end,
if not it will juz be a cycle whereby u say me..and i retaliate back.
It will go on and on.
So ya, enough of thinking of u both.
I dun wanna argue or keep bickering with u.
Its Useless cuz u are not involve either.

So ya, tell him. without him Im doing fine.
Abt the pic, i tot abt it.
I gave it to him when i still have feelings for him.
So ya, its up to u to tell hy wat to do or hy himself wanna destroy it.
If it was the last time hy, he wont destroy it.
He is not so bad, but given this current hy i dunno wat he will do.

I have my own life to live on even with/without him.
So ya, i will still blog here.
Its up to u to tag me...comment...whatsoever....
U got ur rights.
I also got my rights to say anything i wan here.
So ya, take it or leave it.

U can keep on ranting like nobody business here.
I welcome ur comments whether its positive or negative.
But, a word of advice from a junior, do take things with a pinch of salt.

Thats wat i wanna say.
The end.

2008-03-25T13:57:00.002+08:00

Sorry blog for leaving u here to rot.

Juz came back from malaysia.(yesterday)
Got a cut on my head...
Bleeding~~~
Oh god...
Qn: How i got the cut?
Ans: Very easy, juz stand up and "BANG" hit the edge of my window.Sharp edge.and down flow the blood.Woohooo~ juz like a river,maybe not a river,but a stream of blood.Warm blood...

And i felt dizzy.Blackout.Cool..
Got another cut on my toe while scooping soil to fill up the holes around my hse.

Haahaa..Wat a pathetic trip.

Been waking up early in the morning.4am,6.30am,7am.
Haven eaten much either.

Help uncle with the clearing of the shop.
Hammering...etc...Wat a work out.
Hand was trembling~Got all dirty.
But its nth.

2008-03-25T13:43:00.002+08:00

This is going to be the place where all the shits comes in...WoooHooo~~~
Seems like its been so long since i last blog here.

Anyway, there is no true love.
But still, there will still be a little bit.

So people, dun think so negatively...
Cuz there is always some positive moments.(if u really think hard)
But, if u wanna stay in those shit...
Be my guest.
Childish, sometimes being childish is not a bad thing but, if u are still doing it even if u are like dunno how old.Thats worse den childish.

Talking to u is wasting my effort cuz watever u said is not anything related to wat i said.
Dun act as if u are that someone when u are not.
Cuz u are always who u are.Everyone is different.
Dun act, cuz u are too fake.
He is not as cruel like u.Heartless like u.

Haahaa...how bored can i be?Got nth to post...
So im juz anyhow posting.
Cant leave this blog so dead.
Cuz i like the skin...haahaa...

2008-03-16T14:09:00.000+08:00

*080805-311207*其实我没变.. 是你变了..

Thankz...

2008-03-12T17:09:00.004+08:00

2007-11-09T23:05:00.000+08:00

Side dishes for korean food...
Sizziling hot PLAte....
Frying meat....Wrap with lettuce...Wooohoooo~~~
Mouth watering Korean Rice...
Prata that landed on the floor even before landing in our mouths...Poor prata.....

2007-11-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

Hello!!HELLO!!!
Ting is back to posting....

Ting been prata-ling...

HOw u know i been prata-ling??
Heehee...
Altot kind of late to post this...
But, still prata is nice....

Bomb prata...Egg prata....and most importantly TISSUE prata...wahaha....
The tissue prata which is thin and sweet....which will make ur mouth water~~~
Thin like paper which make u feel like u are eating nth at all...

Prices been increasing....
Stupid prata....Juz flour....and egg...and BUTTER....still increase... :)
And...i gain my fats from the wonderful smell which is produce by the BUTTER....
Show u the tall tall prata....
LOOK...Look~~~(only one tissue prata pic)
Now for the other Food post again....
Go get ready ur bucket ba...*Don wet ur floor*heehee

This is the Yin Yang drink....WoooHooo~~
(Mixture of Coffee & Tea)

Giant French Toast...
Look at the BUTTER and Honey
Tat melts in my mouth and
ended at my waist...
But, i dun care....FOOD!!!
Overall look of the food~~~

The well known pork chop baked rice
I juz love the CHEESE~~~

This is the seafood baked rice with the Alfredo sauce.

Claypot Rice

Hor Fun

Summary of all the above food.

Below is the ending of the BIG feast tat we had....
that cost $12 plus each person...

Ending feast....

Paiseh...didnt get a chance to take a picture of the starting feast....due to the hunger bugs in Ting that made her forgot all abt taking the beautiful food presented earlier.... :)

2007-10-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

Hello....
School reopen again...*sianz*
But, went out today with Pris...
The food there not bad....can try try...at PS...
Seafood...
Ate the prawn~~
Lips were kind of itchy...
But, now is perfectly fine...

After that we went for gelare... WOooohooo~~
Waffle ice-cream...so nice...
Feel like eating Prata now....
I can smell prata...

Prata is everywhere...
Prata~~Prata~~~

2007-10-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

Emo Post Coming up Next...

Piling the bodies
Burn them in the night
Skin grows black and withered
Decayed smell will rise
Existence fading Into ashes
Burn those bodies
To Infernal death

Human coals are burning
Repulsive yet so true
Open graves are scattered
When the work is through
Existence fading Into ashes
Burn those bodies
To Infernal death

2007-10-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

My heart was like a thorn in a flower
My soul was like a burned out tree
In a forest, green lush and free thoughts and emotions never to be spoken.
Hidden under the dark, dry casing
Slowly what makes me who i am is erasing
When you have nobody
They cant disappoint you
No one argues against ur point of view
This is the way i used to feel until you came and made me real.

A Rainbow spreading across my being
An expression of all that is unseen
My quixotic Hero coming to my rescue
For saving me from the darkness
Boy i bless u...

You who saved me from being torn through
This wonderful array of new feelings
Gives my life a whole new meaning
Now i know before I was missing out
But now, I Love You without a doubt...

Now my heart is a rose in a graveyard
Growing more beautiful as you heal the scars
My soul is now a Radiant warm sun
Glowing now for everyone
Born again with a whole new point of view
Like all bad in the past was never true
My Love now shines and it shines for you.....

2007-10-06T23:33:00.001+08:00

im reminiscencing on the past and looking back on how we used to be
how did we ever turn out like this
i try to say goodbye and i choke
remembering my heart entangled with yours, its hurts

cus you're so faraway now
but in my heart, i still wanna love you
hold you close, feeling your heart beating next to mine
WONT YOU COME BACK?

2007-09-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

Went out with ys....
Went to eat at railway mall...
Ramen ramen....haahaa... :D
We ate 51 bucks...

Im broke~~
There goes my bag...
Sad ar.... :'(...
We ate at coffee bean i spent another 10 bucks...
haahaa... :D....
Sat for quite a long period of time...

No money to buy...
sad ar~~
Heard from lien....
Everyone changed except me...
Haahaa~~ i nv change...

Is that real??
Haahaa~~

2007-09-24T00:49:00.000+08:00

No life....

2007-09-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

juzsucks...betteroffdying...
sheissosuchanidiot...
sheshouldbeleftalonetodieoff...
sothatshewontbringharmtoanyone...
wishthatuarelivinghappily...
maybleavinguwillletufeeleasier...
shalli...
isthiswatuwan...
idunnowatuarethinking...
sometimesijuzwannadowatuwan...
butijuzcantletgo....
IJUZCANT!!!!

whichismakingussufferlikehellnow....
shallidoit...
onceidothat...
guessitwillbeoverright...
therewontbemeanduanymore...
willieverleaveascarinurlife....
amithatveryleastimportanttou...
iwonder....wonderwonder....

2007-09-11T18:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday(100907)
Great day!!!
Hit my ass on the 242 bus door handle...
Nice feeling...
ASS IN PAIN!!!!!

It all happen becuz i miss my step...
OMG!!!
Unforgetable experience....
ASS IN PAIN!!!
BLUE-BLACK!!!!!

And...i met grace yesterday...
Heehee...
Nice meeting her again..
So happy to see u yo...
Muacks....

2007-09-09T23:49:00.000+08:00

Wah~~
So long nv hear from the both of u...
Missing u Both...
Kenneth and Mark...
Heehee... :)

Studies...Studies...
Bored....Bored....
God...save me!!!

2007-09-08T05:29:00.000+08:00

I'm still awake...
Wahaha...
Awake...awake...
Now is already 5.30am liao...
WoW!!!
Steady....
Stuck at chapter 10...wahaha...
Its raining liao...
Heehee...
haahaa... :D
Dun think i need to slp liao...wahaha...
Funny....
*laughters*

2007-09-01T02:08:00.000+08:00

Since u all wanna meet me up...
Can...no problems... :)
But, after my exams...
Thankz....

Meet on the 15 sep...
Any problems with u all??
I hope to settle this mess that i made in a nicely and polite way...
Can we???
Thankz alot...

2007-09-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

jw, im not trying to gain pity...
I'm trying to let it go...
I post the first post...
Becuz of how i feel for that moment...
I got my rights to post...
And, u all got ur rights to tag me...
I'm fine with it...
Why do u all need to be so harsh on me??
I know u all are fuck up with my post...
But, need to be so harsh on me??
Why would i wanna gain pity from u all??
U all are my frenz...4 years of frenz...

Ya, i agree im running away....
All i wanted is juz some free time from u all...
Since its like...its been so long we are not in contact...
It wont make any diff in the few more weeks right??

Ya, jw i know u are super not happy with me...
I know u like to voice out in everything that u see that u are not happy with...
But, is this the first time u see me so emo??
Cant u juz close one eye and get on with life...
Why do u insist of meeting me face to face and talk to me???
Wat do u wanna talk to me abt??
If, im able to voice out...
I wont be blogging....
I dun wan becuz of one moment of anger words den spoilt the years of frenship....
This blog is for me to vent my anger....
U can choose to read and forget or rmb it...

Ya, im timid...
U got a problem with me being timid...
I'm fine with it..
Cuz, im born with it...
U got a problem with that???
Since that fight we had during sec 2...
we were not very close frenz anymore....
We can like dun even talk to each other if we meet...
When u meet me...
wat do u wanna say to me???
I juz sit there and listen to u say??
Watever i wanna say...I already typed out...
I juz wanna typed out and forget it...
Den, why u bother abt my blog so much??
I already got no one to turn to liao...
cant i juz turn to my blog???
CANT I EMO?????
DO U HAVE TO USE SUCH HARSH WORDS ON ME!!!!!

Ya, i made a choice...
I CHOOSE TO FORGET EVERYTHING and START AFRESH!!!
can u understand the last post???
Did i mention that i wan u all to beg me to go back to the group??
I only said that...
I NEED SOMETIME ALONE to clear up my emotions!!!!
Is it so difficult for u to understand???
Wat u mean by that time thats it????
U wanna break this frenship with me izzit???
I didnt say i wanna break frenship with u all...
I need to settle the feelings...And not making it worse....
I'm trying hard to solve the mess i made by backing off...
To u all, this mayb running away....
But, wat u all wan is me going out to face u all telling u all the problems i had with u all right???
I already typed out watever i wanna say...wat else do u wanna say if i meet u all..
I'm juz repeating...
I'm trying hard to forget them....
I'm not covering up myself....

See by posting..tagging..u are already so fed up with me...
have u ever tot of wat u wanna say to me when u are facing me???
wat is atmosphere we are having???
are u going to slap me awake??
or u going to scold the fucking hell out of me...
I really dun see the point to make such a big fuss over this...
Can u juz think of this thing in a simple way...

Reflection...i did....
Thats why i post the last post...
I WANNA FORGET EVERYTHING!!
i already apologise....
wat else u wan me to do???
Mayb, u all will say wats the point of saying sorry right??
Saying sorry wont help anything...
cuz wat is done is done...
cant be undone...
I know...
Thats why i wanna forget...

Do u dare to say u will nv emo???
You wont feel this way???
it is juz that different ppl have different way of venting anger out...

I dun wanna meet u all, i got my reasons to it....
becuz i dunno how to face u all...
For the last time i say this....
I DUNNO HOW TO FACE U ALL AND SAY WAT TO U ALL!!!
wats ur meaning of this sentence...不要做小偷的喊小偷.

And, do u have to say my fren is a rubbish collector??
Need to be so nan ting anot???
Even if that is my fren....
I know u bu fu qi....
Not happy with my post...
but, can u dun use such harsh words???

Juz ignore la....
Will that kill u???

Yunshan...thanks alot....
I really appreciated ur tag...
Thankz for ur luck...
Really...

Think back....if u all juz close one eye and read my blog and forget it...
will all this happen???
Sometimes..things juz happen for that moment...
Things juz agitated that person for that moment....
and u juz wannna voice out for that moment trying not to hurt anyone....
but in the end....
it still happened....
Juz like now....

2007-08-30T17:59:00.000+08:00

U all juz leave me for the time being...
I wanna clear up my emotions....
Sorry...
I dunno wat to say to u all when i see u all...
I dunno how to react when i see u all...
Mayb time will help to ease off all the conflicts that i had with u all...
Its my emotions that are toying with me now...
Im very emo...
I dunno how to tell u all...

Juz forget all this la...
Start all over...
I duno if its possible for u all....
But, i dun wanna agrue over these things...
Juz forget it....

Can we??
Lets juz stop...
When, im in the right mind...
I will contact u all again...
Sorry for all the troubles...
And all those unhappiness i caused u all...
I got no face to face u all now....

U all jux take care...
Sorry, my frenz....

2007-08-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

I know...its my fault....
Everything is my fault...
My fault to reject u all asking me out in the first place....
My fault that i didnt study for O lvls...
My fault that im in ITE....
My fault for feeling extra...
My fault for blogging...
My fault for posting that...
My fault for not facing u all...

I didnt know wat i will say when i face u all...
Wat can i say??
I'm not saying i'm blaming u all for all this...
I also at fault...cuz i REJECTED u all...
I was busy when im in year 1...
and now, im busier cuz i got that idiotic FYP...
I need to be FYP cuz i WANNA GET INTO POLY!!!!

U all were in poly...
U cant blame me for thinking that im extra....
Being in such a big group, nelgect of some members is inevitable....
I know...
But, i juz cant help thinking that im extra...
Seeing u all being so close together....
Mayb im juz jealous of u all being so close...
You think i wanna have that feeling??
Im juz like an outsider looking at u all being so happy...
During that time..im having problems with hy....sch work...sch environment and my family stuffs...
Plus, how i was being kind of treated...like that time...
Went to east coast if i nv rmb wrongly...or even i rmb wrongly, i rmb its in MRT...
Is it so difficult to call me and tell me which cabin u all at??
I waited like dunno how long...
All i got from cy is...the train is moving off liao...
and u all wait for me at bedok, simei or pasir ris....(cant rmb)...
U know how it feels....
Still rmb, ur birthday kerk....
Tats the worse experience i ever get...
Thats the incident which i was so angry with...
Im like...total lost!!!!
U know how i feel when i only got to know that u all celebrating at town when i called CY...
Im like.........nvm...
And, my birthday....
Okay, mayb i shouldnt be so ji jiao...
But, its like really different treating...
Since, sab that time the birthday....
Rmb??the one that u got a skate-board???
After that, not saying that the presents u got me are cheap or watever...
But, its like...i dun feel that u all are sincere at all...
Its like u all got me the present for the sick of getting me one...
You know why i seldom get u all presents???
Cuz i know...all ur birthdays would be very memorable to u all....
due to the planning...or watever...or maybe...
ITS DUE TO MY OVER-SENSITIVE again....
Ya, talking abt all this...and u all reading all this...
U all would think that...i should voice out...
Over-sensitive...etc....or u all are juz like...wat the fuck wenting!!!
I dunno....
(Cy, ys... i know how well u both treat me...i know this yr the present from ys and lien..i really appreciate...i will always rmb wat u both gave me...and im sorry i didnt get u both anything at all cuz i was kind of not myself at that period of time)

Ya, mayb like wat kerk said...
I'm over-sensitive....thinking too much....etc
U wanna try being in ITE....
Only when i go to all ur blog once in a time den i know wat is happening to u all...
After reading all ur post....u know how it feels???
Imagine, u need to rely on post in order to know wat ur good frenz are doing...
Seeing u all so close....looking at the happy photos u all took...
You know how nelgected i feel??
I know u all tried to make me feel in the group...
But, somehow i juz feel that its like u all are juz ke lian wo....
And, when im out with u all..sometimes..the things that u all say.... I dun even understand...
Den, wat u want me to do....
I juz sit there and listen la...

Now, im rushing my projects...
I wanna get into POLY!!!
U know how much that means to me...
JUZ TO GET INTO POLY!!!!

Kerk, after reading ur tag....
I feel kind of agitated....
Im not angry with u....
I'm juz....i dunno how to explain....
Now, the more i dun feel like meeting u all....
But, why now get so agitated???
None of this happen last time....

Seems like everyone is very agitated by my post....
i know u all wanna meet up and settle this mess i made.....
But, i dunno how to face u all...and i duno wat to say to all of u....
I didnt wan u all to help me clean up this mess i made....
U all can dun bother...

I know u all bother cuz
MAYBE its becuz u all still treat me as sister,
MAYBE its becuz u all think that im blaming u all and im juz being ridiculous... unreasonable...
MAYBE u all juz wanna voice out...Etc....
i dunno...

All, i can say now is....
Im sorry to cause so much commotion....
I didnt know that juz one post from me...can make u all so worked up...
Cuz, i tot no one can be bothered about me anymore....

After reading all this that i typed... i feel that its kind of pointless...
Cuz...i dunno how to explain also...
I mayb risking ending the friendship among the 8 of us....
You all may feel that im no longer the last time wenting...
But, i really dun wanna bother abt all this anymore...
Cuz, i really dunno how to tell u all how i feel...
And, if i were to continue...
It would be like digging the past things out to say which is kind of pointless...
And, mayb everything that i said above is all bull shit to u all...

And, can i know...by meeting me...wat do u all wanna talk to me abt??
I dun mind meeting u all...
I juz wanna let u all know...
I wont talk much...when i am meeting u alll...
Cuz, i wont know wat to say at that point of time....
All the above are all accumulated together one...

All these came into my mind when i was having problems with alot of things(since abt begining of the year)...
There were nights that i lost slp...my mind is juz thinking of alot alot of things....

I tot of juz ending my life...
REALLY!!!and i swear!!!
U all maybe thinking that, aiya...juz say say only right??
Wenting kill herself???not possible one....
Wenting juz attracting attention....
For this few months, my life juz sucks ok??
I feel like a bitch....slut...and anything bad that i can think of.....
Being blame for almost anything...and MY MOTHER and FATHER!!!!

I dunno wat else to say...
But, i really dun feel like meeting u all now...after all the tags....esp, the last fews.....

All i can say....Im sorry...
its my fault...
all my fault...
Maybe its better for the 8 of u to forget me ba...
It would be easier for u all ba....
I really appreciate those happy times u all gave me...
I will always rmb the 8 of u....

Lastly, pls dun be affected by wat i said....
if i offended anyone in my post...
I dun mean it...cuz i juz telling u all how i feel...
Facing u all...i cant say it out...
Sorry...from the bottom of my heart...

2007-08-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

Life has nv been fair to anyone...
So dun bother...
Had enough....
Left out is all i get...
Not that i dun wanna join u all...
Is that...U ALL DUN MAKE ME FEEL IMPORTANT AT ALL!!!!
Not even let me feel that my presence is felt...

Wat is this??
Do u all even bother???
Dun keep saying sorry...
The way u all treat each other is so diff from me....
WAT IS THIS????
I tried to bland in....
I TRIED!!!
But, wat do i get in return???
LEFT OUT without anyone knowing...
DO U ALL FUCKING KNOW HOW DOES THAT FEELING FEELS???
Guess u all don....

All i get is ....i miss u...so long nv see u....etc....
Not that, i dun believe that u all miss me...
But, do u all mean wat u all say???
or u all are juz saying for the sick of saying??
Wats the point???
So wat if i really miss u all...
I missed those days....
I dun think u all bother abt me la....
When i emo, den u all say why i emo...say those out of concern....
But, after awhile back to those normal times...
im left out...
WAT IS THIS!!!!

Not that i dun like u all....
BUT, I JUZ FEEL BEENING LEFT OUT!!!!!!
Maybe i should be left out ba....
I'm juz so diff from u all ba...
I'm not worth to be all ur frenz ba...
Guess WT juz sucks la...
RIGHT!!!!

I'M JUST FUCKING RIGHT BA...
i dunno wat can i say liao...
I tried to go in...but, i juz felt left out...
Whether i am thinking too much or watever...
I dunno wat else i can say....
Im numb now...
Whether its relationship or watever...

2007-08-25T20:08:00.000+08:00

Went DXO yesterday(240807),
Had a great time with them...
All my frenz...

Thankz for everything...
They were all very friendly...
Thankz for everything...

2007-08-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

The bike that i cycled on...Woohoo~

2007-08-09T02:04:00.000+08:00

Went to Sakae Sushi with kenn today as we miss the movie that we wanna watch...
Den after that we meet Mark...
I got to cycle around with Mark's bike...kind of fun...cuz very long nv cycle liao....
I nearly fall off from the bike...cuz kind of too tall ar...(Leg too short)...
There was a barrier...
And a passer-by uncle saw me and said "be careful...slowly go up the slope."
Oh my god!! So paiseh...
Then, i went to ride around the jurong point area...
Was kind of lost...cuz i wanna return the bike to Mark.But, i cant find them...
Den, finally i found them after cycling dunno how many rounds...
And, me and mark walk to Sheng Siong while kenn cycled to find their CI fren...
Long walk...
DAMN TIRED!!!DAMN WARM!!!!!
After that, i went to kenn hse cuz he wanna change as they change the time to 9 plus...
Den, went to Mark hse...
Den went to meet their group of CIs...
They are kind of interesting...Friendly...
Nice meeting them...heehee...

The most disappointed thing is that i didnt get to meet dear....
He didnt even gave me a call...
Am i forgotten??
Is this the end??
Are u hinting me something??
Pls tell me...i miss u alot...

2007-08-07T23:57:00.000+08:00

em...its going to be 080807 liao...
2 yrs....oh mg god...
Called dear hse....but,no one pick up...
I also called on the day b4...070807...Same thing...no one pick up..

So i got lien to call dear...
And her sis pick up...call him to call back 15 mins as hy was bathing...

Miss u alot...
But, u are busy tml...
You got extra lessons...
Wonder how to contact him...
Miss him lot....

2007-08-05T19:39:00.000+08:00

8 Aug coming...
Shall i call u out??
Shall i not call u out??

2 yrs...
Haiz...
Im stuck...how sia...how???
Dear...ans me...
I miss u alot...alot....
Do u know??

2007-08-01T23:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday(310707) went to Sizzler....
Waited some time for all of us to gather....
WOW...spent $25 bucks...
OH MY GOD!!!
First attempt on steak....(teriyaki dunno wat...got cheese one)
EEEEEeeeewww....the taste abit...UNEXPECTED....
But, i ate alot of ice cream....

And, SUPER full....
And, think i drink too much water...
Went to toilet at raffles mrt station...wahaha..
Pathetic....
FULL till can vomit...

Serene...wahaha...named by someone who shall not named....wahaha... :)

2007-07-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

Alien...wahaha...Found!
Done this during the stress day (240707)
Photo taken by the beach (hse of uncle)
From left: Xue An, Me, Guan Liang

2007-07-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

Stupid teacher...KT...
Chase out of sch early in the morning...
Haven even step into class...
Stupid u la...Close one eye cannot ar...

See u really suay ar...
ARGHHH!!!!!
Spoilt my day...
Actually wanna do my project one...
Let u see me then i wasted 3 hrs...
If not i would have finished my project....
ARGHHH!!!!

So many other ppl wear black jeans also...
Catch me only...Stupid....
Bias...
Lucky zoe lent me skirt...
if not WHOLE day wasted...
U IDIOT!!!!
BLEAH!!!!! :P

But, i wont let u spoilt my day....
bleah!

Project again....sob sob...
God save me....

2007-07-23T23:00:00.001+08:00

Projects...Projects...
Kill me ba...
How to think???
Thinking hard...thinking hard....
Oh my god!!

2007-07-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

One word from u...
Juz one word from u...
OUT!! and i will go out...
I will pack and go and u wont get to see me anymore...
DUN NEED TO SEE ME ANYMORE!!!!

And u wont die so early either....
I will die first...dun worry...
I WILL DIE FIRST!!!!!

Go dote on ur precious son...
CLEVER SON!!!!UNDERSTANDING SON.....
Instead of me...this everything also money money money daughter...
I waste ur money....KILL ME!!!

YA...i dun help in anything in the hse...i lazy i fat....juz sit there and do nth...
right??Den dun call me do anything...
Who help to line up to pay the bills???Who help in papa works???
Who carry those idiot AIR CONS!!!!
who is the one helping papa when kor was not helping...
Who do the admin stuffs???Whenever those got to do with eng or tech...i will be the one settling...

Ting ar...call this this person...den tell him this this...
Ting help di di in his work...
Ting let ur younger bro abit...
Ting this ting that...
Wat will happen when im gone???
Gone for good???? SHALL I???

since im so unwanted by everyone....

2007-07-22T16:58:00.000+08:00

PROJECTS!!!!
FYP!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!!
If cannot finish doing how???how???how???
Dear...HELP!!!!!!!

2007-07-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

Am i still yours?
Please tell me...

2007-07-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

U wanna chase me out...
Call me idiot...Pig brain...
Thankz...i know i stupid...

The things that u wan me to do...
Its not i dun wanna help...
IS I DUNNO!!!!!!
i need to think how to figure it out....
U say u know wat i thinking...i giving u black face....attitude....etc....

I really dunno wat i can do...
Ya...chase me out den...dun wan me...leave me lor!!!!!!
dun wan lor...chase me...
EVEN MY PARENTS DUN WAN ME!!!
HA!!!!IM NOT WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNWANTED!!!!!!UNWANTED!!!!!!

THANKZ DAD!!!I WILL REMEMBER WAT U SAY...
dun worry....

2007-07-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

How worse can i be??
I flunk my POM...
My first flunk...
And i got a nagging from my teacher(Miss Wee)...
Thanks to her nagging...
I hope i have waken up from this dream....
Ever since the "broke up"....
I dun have the mood to study...
Where has the previous ting during my first yr....
Miss Wee said that i had dropped alot....
22/50 for POM....FCUK!!!!!
And i got a juz passed for my CCM....
Wat is wrong with me now???

Ting, wake up ur idea and work hard now...
If not there goes ur POLY!!!!(in my dreamz)
Now, i got no more CA to depends on....left with my projects to work with only....
My FYP=final year project....CCM=call center management....PIE(which i dunno)...
Praying....Working hard now....
Sept i got my final exams...
Fight for it now...
Only left with few weeks...
Ting WAKE UP!!!!!
Hopefully, i'm able to do wat i wanna do now....
Keep the passion going ting...
Dun let a moment of anger let u have a lifetime of regret....
I'm angry....
I'm angry with myself....
Very angry with myself....

2007-07-16T18:15:00.000+08:00

Every girl dreams that one day she will find a guy that does these things for her.
Even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER
• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in.
• leave her cute text notes.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• touch her hair.
• just walk around with her.
• FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES.
• look at her like she's the only girl you see.
• tickle her even when she says stop.
• hold her hand when you're around your friends.
• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her.
• stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she's sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead.
• give her the world.
• let her wear your clothes.
• when she's sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she's important.
• kiss her in the pouring rain.
• when you fall in love with her, tell her.
• and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.

2007-07-15T22:38:00.000+08:00

Wonder if i still matter to u...
Really wish to see u...
From wat i heard yesterday...
You are still so busy...
Really wonder wat happen to u these few months....
Ever since i last seen u on 1st Jun....

Really wanna know how u are doing now....
Mind telling me???
Seems like alot of things happen to u...

2007-07-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

Dear...
Wonder wat u doing now...
Able to hear u today...feel so happy....
Really happy...
You know how happy i am??

How do u feel???
Miss u alot alot....

At the bbq...
Also not bad...but dear not here...
Thats the pity thing...

2007-07-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

when u are out...means u are out...
OUToutoutoutout
outOUtoutout!!!!!!

2007-06-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

Been thinking of u...
Recently i kept thinking of u again...
I dunno why...
But, i teared again last night...
Tot of the days during sec 4...

Tot of everything that happen at the bb court...
Chinese class 4B...
You cut ur wrist....
Break the window....

All these been coming back to me....

I wanna know if you still like me???
If u are still waiting for me???
If that night watever u said to me still counts....
It seems like i still got alot of things haven ask u...

When will i get the chance again???
When???

2007-06-25T20:51:00.000+08:00

SICK SICK sick...
Fever...Sore throat...Flu....
You name it...i have it...

OMG...should have enjoyed myself in malaysia...
But in the end...haiz....
Didnt get to eat wat i wanna eat.....
Sad ar.....

First time so pathetic....
Nearly ended up in the hospital....

2007-06-19T14:55:00.000+08:00

Haiz...
Haiz...
Its always not the same...
Same human...different fate....

Its always like that...
Forget it...
If this is how it is....

Wat to do...
You are meant to be like that wat...
So why bother...
Sometime juz dun bother go see something which is not meant for u...
So wat if u wanna care....

SHUT UP TING!!

2007-06-16T22:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people dun wish to treat u that way,
its the situation make them treat u this way.
You may find them really sucky during that period of time...
You may not wanna talk to them anymore...
But, still accept it...
This is how the world is...

Never mind...
Accept it if u are not welcome...
And i know that...
You are always not the one that is needed by anyone...
So why bother...

Sometimes u maybe the only one available, thats why u are being approach...
But, sometimes is like that...
Things are contradicting...
They may not like that person but still the person would go look for him/her...
To me...i really dun understand why...
Ya, u dun like this person...u talk back abt him/her in front ur this fren...
But, once i turn my back... u would be that person best fren...
Why is this happening??
Are all humans this way??
Is this a way of hiding our feelings??

I really dun understand...
Left out...

2007-06-13T20:08:00.000+08:00

wats in the past...let it go...
Think further...

Its me that told it seriously ba...
But, i misunderstood u...
Cuz u dun mean that...

Let it go....
But, im here to apologise to watever i said and my frenz had misunderstand him....
I'm Sorry...

2007-06-12T23:42:00.001+08:00

FUCK U!!!FUCK U!!!! wats the problem with u...
Juz come home...u kbkb me....
den come blog see something which i dun like....
Wa Kao.....u irritated my tag at the wrong timing...

u wan me do things can...
when i not able to fulfill watever u wan me to so..
u kbkb me...
say i useless...same as my bro...
wat kind of fuck is this....
SHUT UP LA!!!
u last min tell me thurs i need acc u...but i need go chalet....
den i thinking of go with u liao den i go to chalet...
But now, u give me this fucking attitude and scold me till like shit...
I HAD ENOUGH!!!
u say i only care abt my frenz...
dun care abt family...
say i everyday go out...

when im at home...u got say i at home ar?
got say i guai???got buy food for me??
everything u do is for didi only...
den u got care abt me???
I DUN THINK SO!!!!
LIAR!!!FUCK OFF!!!

2007-06-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

WOW!!
Today...LAST DAY OF EXAM...
WOoooHooo..
HooRay!!!

But, sad to say...altot i got study...revise...but i GAVE THE WRONG ANS!!!
oh my god!! How dumb can i be man....Arghhhh~

Mum told me at home got food...but when i come home...dad ate my food...
Haiz....
HUNGER!!!

But, nvm....time for diet....
LALALA...im FAT!!!...

Actually suppose to go eat KFC one..
Haiz..Should have gone KFC...
I wan bubble tea...
MINI PEARL!!!

Cant wait for holidays!!!
Going back to malaysia soon...
Help Ah ma celebrate birthday...
YEAH!!!

2007-06-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

Today had CCM exam...
OH MY GOD!!..
Got a 16 marks question really got me...
I dunno how to ans...so i anyhow write rubbish...
Haahaa..hopefully i can at least get a B ba...cuz b4 that night i had a backache....den didnt get to concentrate on my studies...damn pathetic...so hope i can get the result i wan...

But, i fall asleep half way thru the exam...oh my god!! den i was shocked awake...haahaa...
den the next thing i know is that i handed up the paper...OH MY GOD!! i didnt check!!
Alamak...this is the worse exam that i ever taken....

But...watever...wat done cannot be undone....
Hope i can do well for the POM paper coming up next monday....

2007-06-06T19:07:00.000+08:00

tml is my CCM=call centre management exam...till now...i haven even started studying...
den on 11 June is my POM=principles of marketing exam...wah!!!haven started....
I wanna study...but, i juz cant get myself to settle down and study...

And, today i went to a law firm becuz of my FYP....
Got a chance to sit in Miss Wee(my CA) car....HONDA FIT...
heehee....Talked to a lawyer....and finally able to start on our FYP....

Wonder how are u...

STUDY STUDY!!!
Argh~~

2007-06-02T20:11:00.000+08:00

I'm here to wish my dear a HAPPY 18th BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!

But, I'm late for one day...
But, still wish you got a Happy Birthday yo...
Hows ur dinner with ur parents??

Hope you enjoyed your day there...
I also had a good time yesterday night...
But, kind of tiring...

Thanks for everyone coming...
Really thank you...
Hope you all enjoyed your night... :)

2007-05-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

Things tend to have many ways of thinking...
Different angle to look at everything...
Sometimes when u think that its should be this way...
But to the others it would be the other way round...

So, sometimes this is how misunderstanding happens...
It could be a positive thing to u...
But, to the others it could be a negative thing...

But, sometimes its not possible for someone to say out the whole thing...
Sometimes its too difficult to say out...when u feel like saying out...

These 2 months plus...
I been thinking alot...alot...alot....
Sometimes i dun even come to any conclusion and then im like one crazy,emotion fellow...
Den i will suddenly keep quiet...etc....

Till now...i will still think...
Sometime...they dun seems to be who they are...and they cant be bothered abt u...
When they got to know new frenz...or got new company...

Things will change...everything changes...

We have to live with it and accept it...

I'm trying hard to accept watever happened 2 months plus ago...
I hope i can take it and accept it...
But, till now i cant seems to accept it..

I dunno wat to say liao...

2007-05-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

Today, none of my frenz went to sch...
But, they got tell me before hand...
And i was late...i was late for CCM...i didnt attend the class....
But, i went for EBP....

Kind of sad ar...
You go sch...no one pays notice of u....
Treat u as transparent...
So wat for treat them nice....

The two of them....
Wats the point of treating ppl nice??
I wan to be nice to ppl...
But, ppl tend to dun give a damn to u at all...

So wat if u got a pretty face??
If inside sucks to the cork....
It doesnt matter how nice u look on the outside...
But, ppl tend to look on the outside b4 looking for the inside....

So ya....Lifes is so full of shit!!!

All of a sudden ...i find life kind of boring....lifeless....
Everything seems to be so fake....
fake...fake...fake....
This moment they are nice to u...
B4 u know it...they turn their backs on u.....
Keep things from u....

So wat if i treat them with all my heart...
Treat them with the real u...real feelings...
Ppl tend to take that for granted....
End up getting hurt one is none other den u yourself....

So, please god....
Let me learn to know how to understand a person...
how to treat a person....
How to take things easily....

Why do i think that ppl are concern abt me...care abt me...
Im important to at least one person...
But, whenever i start to think that im at least important to someone in this world...
The person tend to break my wonderful feeling...
And make me reconsider again.....if im really that important to him or her....

Mayb its juz one sided....
Juz me...being the one sided one...
I think too much....being buay ba...

WAKE UP!!!!
YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!!

2007-05-24T15:11:00.000+08:00

The day is coming near...
Wonder if he will come...
Altot i know the chances are very small...
But, i still......(hope u can come)

I juz hope i can get to talk to u face to face...
Whether its positive or negative....
I juz wanna know and i wanna talk to u face to face...

Juz back from sch...
Tired...

I dun mind u busy...
Never mind....i will tell u everything when i get to see u....

2007-05-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

wat the heck is going on with me??
Everything seems to be so difficult for me...
And i cant even remember where i put that stupid book...
*ARGHHH*

And im sneezing like hell now all because of the dust.
Oh my god!!
Book ar...Book ar....can u please juz come out??Mummy looking for u.
Please come out wherever u are...Guai la...

And my internet is giving me problems.
I cant seems to sign into msn.
Even if i sign in,i will eventually sign out.

Tml got test...another test.
Test after test.

Headache.
Why is there so much challenge??
Ups and downs.
Wow~~

Think positive.
Life are always full of choices.
Juz dun regret wat ur choices are.

2007-04-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

Life is so full of unpredictable...
There are ups and downs...
I just realized...life is so fake...
No one knows u are suffering...

Sometimes, its not we dun wanna care about people...
But,its the situation that made people to change...

I dun mind u treating me like this...
But, he mind...and bcuz of certain reasons...
He gave up...Gave me up...
Guess i'm not worth anymore of ur concern??
Have u forgotten about me??
How u forgotten wat we been through to get to this stage where we are more carefree now??
Remember wat u said to me when u were wooing me??
Remember the time when u were at my void deck...the lift area???Remember wat u said to me?

Maybe i should let u go??Should i??
Izzit u feel tied down by me??
U feel stress when u see me??
I wish i know how u feel now...
I wish i could understand why did u do this to me...
I wish i could be like u...

But,if its yours..it will be yours ba...
Do u know how i feel for u??Do you???
If u dun express it out...i cant understand...I cant figure out how u feel...
I dunno wat u are going thru...I wish i know...I really wish i know...

Wonder wat will happen if suddenly one day, im gone....
Disappear from this world...
Why do different people have different treatment??
Why is everyone not treated equally??
Why some bad people can get good people...devoted people...loyal people???
Why???why???Why???

Haiz...Never mind...Get a hold of urself....

2007-04-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

wat is love???wat is pain???wat is forever love???there is no such thing!!!ITS ALL A LIE!!!!THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS REAL LOVE!!!ITS ALL FAKE!!!BY LETTING ME AWAY, TO U MAYB A RELIEF...ITS FOR MY OWN GOOD....ITS NOT...ITS NOT!!!!ITS TORTURING ME!!!WHY ARE U SO SELFISH!!!WHY!!!WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PAIN???WAT IS THAT???WILL I EVER FEEL PAIN AFTER IM DEAD???AM I WRONG FOR LOVING U???AM I???I DUN WAN THE THINGS I AM GOING THRU NOW!!!SHALL I LEAVE HERE FOREVER???AM I BEING AN EXTRA???WAT AM I DOING IN THIS WORLD???WAT GOOD DO I HAVE FOR THIS WORLD???WAT IS ALL THIS!!!!RUBBISH!!!!!!!MAYB I WILL GOT CANCER SOMEDAY!!READ THE NEWS TODAY!!!PPL BEEN DIAGNOSE THAT USING WIRELESS FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME...MIGHT HAVE CANCER SOMEDAY!!!WAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!I BEEN HAVING HEADACHE!!!IS IT A NICE THING???IS IT A HINT???OR AM I THINKING TOO MUCH???I THINK I AM...WA HA HA..WATS THIS...HAAHAA...

2007-04-24T00:07:00.000+08:00

i really miss u alot...whether u know or dunno...but i really missed u...its been 1 month and 2 days since we seperated...dunno if u had the same feelings as i do...mayb u are too busy with ur work that u forgotten abt me...but, i dun blame u for that...

i really wanna talk to u...i really want to...i.....nvm...

2007-04-20T17:35:00.000+08:00

hihi,
I'm here again...Today i went to the minds...at clementi there...This is my first time there...Its kind of scary...but its also kind of interesting for me...as i would get to know more things...and since its 18...we should make full use of our energy and humor that we have and entertain and contribute to the society.
I got to know alot of physical or mentally disable people...Its like when u talk to them, they are not listening to u...its kind of a new experience to me...and during the "sports day" i kind of enjoyed myself la...afterall, its not as bad as i think it is la...

During the bus ride home, i kind of think of u again...cuz i am being questioned...haiz...
But, im happy...cuz i got a reply from u...altot its juz one single sms...im happy...but at the same time, i feel upset...but dun worry...

im not sure if i still mean anything to u.But, i hope i does. Will u still think of me??I hope u will...Can we go back to those times???I hope i can...Izzit its always not the same after u got the gal??I hope not...i dunno wat i wan...

2007-04-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

Today is kind of a special day...
Today is 130407 (Friday the 13)....
My mother and my frenz went out together...
We ate Swenses and we took neoprints with my mother...
Its so funny...heehee...

Enjoyed today...Thankz for everything...
Altot we walked alot today...

2007-04-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

Haiz...

Why is this happening??When i was bathing, my mother came and knock on my door tell me my popo not going to make it....her life is hanging on a thread....

God!!!Save me...

*I wish u were here...*

Po Po...I'm coming!!!Stay strong ok??I'm sure u will be....

Take care Po Po....LOVE YOU!!!!

2007-03-31T00:11:00.000+08:00

Without u...Life is so Boring...

Everynight, I would be wondering wat u doing??Wonder if u look the same?? Wonder if u still remember me??Wonder if u will pick up my calls??Wonder if u have given up hope one??Wonder if u are cool when its raining, if u got wear jacket...Wonder if u are in the rain when its raining heavily...Wonder when will i be able to see u again...the wondering seems to be never ending...

Everytime when its quiet.You will come into my mind...
In front of my mother and my whole family,I have to act strong, that i forgot about u...Cuz i dun wan my mother to worry about me.I dunno how can i get over u...But, deep down in my heart.I dun wish that to happen.You tend to appear as and when, even when im shopping happily outside, i would think of u suddenly,cuz i see JJC students everywhere i go...Even without the JJ students...there are still other JC students...

I wish i could cry out loud...I wish i could look at u...I wish i was in ur school...

Shall i continue with this thinking??I really dunno wat i am thinking now...

Right this moment, I wish i could juz hug u tight...Juz hug u tight...and juz keep quiet...

Donno why...but i will tear whenever i write to u...Its as if u are really really really really Super super far from me....Its as if u are at another country...

Am i giving u too much pressure??You see me, you pressure??I'm sorry if i let u so stress up.

But, I juz wan u to know that...if u wan me to be there for u...I will be there.All u have to do is
Juz Give me a call or sms.

No matter wat,You are still my dear...

I wont give up...Take care...

2007-03-27T21:00:00.000+08:00

I DUNNO...I DUNNO....I DUNNO....I DUNNO.....I DUNNO....
U SWITCH OFF....U SWITCH OFF...U SWITCH OFF....U SWITCH OFF.....
U HATE ME RIGHT???U HATE ME RIGHT???U HATE ME RIGHT????
MUZ BE...MUZ ME...MUZ BE....MUZ BE....

IS THIS OVER???I DUN WAN!!!!DUN WAN!!!!DUN WAN!!!!DUN WAN!!!!

why cant we juz be like that time the way u talked to me?? I juz wanna be there for u whenever u need me...can i do that???can i???During that time...its so nice.... You opened up to me....U OPENED UP TO ME!!!!!! can u do the same....can u???can u???????????

Haahaa....no one likes me anymore....I'm a bitch!!! i know...haahaa...I'm a bitch...BITCH!!!BITCH!!! me sux...I'm bitch!!!!(juz like u say) F_C_U_K_I_N_G_B_I_T_C_H!!!!!!!!!!!haahaa...
izzit that good!!! im a FUCKING BITCH!!!!!haahaa...not worth anything...haahaa....wat am i???im nothing...even he hate u...he detest u...GET LOST!!!GET LOST!!!GET LOST!!!!i am getting lost...lost...lost...lost....lost....lost...lost.....lost....keeping quiet...quiet quiet....quiet....quiet...quiet....quiet....two person...two person.....two person...two person....haahaa.........................................................................................................................

2007-03-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

today(260307)
Went to SP with cy and grace...
After that went to Woodlands with them as...Grace wanna buy a pair of slippers from CHECK for her fren...
On the way back, I saw something real "EXCITING"....
A mother breast feed her child in the mrt....OH MY GOD!!!
Why in a train???do it in toilet or the baby room ma....oh my god!! Everyone was like looking at her la...and she was with her husband somemore...oh my god~~ TOO MOTHERLY LE BA....

Steady....

Dear...i will still be waiting....

2007-03-24T14:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday(230307),
Me,CY,YS,JW and lastly aizhen went to stay overnight at grace house. :)
As b4 that day(220307) is not a very good day for me...
To be exact, is the WORSE day in my whole life!!!

To my loved one,
Please believe wat i said to you.I really hope to see u now. But, i cant. And, I dun wish to stress you further. I asked grace abt her opinion and told her abt us.......
She said that you dun have to really do this. As there are other ways out. Really!!!
She also said that i could get back with u. And i really have VERY SUPER high hopes for that day to come.I heard from YS that u say u are forcing urself to not patch back with me. U dun really have to do that. Really dear!! If can, i hope i can talk to u face to face...Cuz i really miss u!!! There is more i wanna talk and tell u abt...But in order not to stress u up, i do not dare to really disturb and contact u... If u really need someone to talk to...u can contact me as and when u like ok?? Please contact me...
And i dunno how to contact u other den posting here...I hope u can see this post...And i really hope for the best...*I'm praying*

Take care....

2007-03-21T23:28:00.000+08:00

Alot of things happen...
I dunno wat i can do now...
Tml im going for the hongkong seminar...
the thing that i had waited since a few weeks ago...i was so excited!!
But now...i got no mood...i dun even have the mood to go out sometimes....even if i feel like going out...wat am i thinking??
I really dunno...

And one of my frenz ask me something which i feel offened...I REALLY FEEL OFFENED!! WAT A QUESTION TO ASK A FEMALE!! TRY ASKING THAT QUESTION TO ANOTHER GAL AND SEE WAT SHE WILL DO TO U!

I NEVER SLAP U TIGHT IN YOUR FACE IS GOOD ENOUGH!!I NEVER ANGRY WITH YOU CUZ I STILL TREAT U AS A FREN MAN!!

I REALLY CANT STAND HIM WHEN IM ALONE WITH HIM CUZ WE TAKE THE SAME BUS HOME....PLEASE SIT FAR FROM ME!!ARE U TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME WHEN U CANT GET HER...DUN TRY!!...(mayb u think its my fault...cuz i call him out...if not jiu si i agree to go out with him one...so i should take it)

I HAD IT WITH U!! NEXT TIME TRY ASKING ME THAT OR TRY TO GET CLOSE TO ME... I WILL STRAIGHT IN YOUR FACE SAY : PLEASE DUN BE SO CLOSE TO ME...MOVE PLEASE!!

THE WAY U ASK ME THAT STUPID QN MAKE ME FEEL I AM VERY DIRTY!!... I HATE U!!! I WONT TALK TO U ANYMORE!!THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT UR FEMALE FREN...

FUCK YOU!!

Dear....where are u when i needed u most??
i really need u!!!I REALLY MISS YOU!! can i contact u???i really dunno how to describe to u how i feel now...but...i dun wan to show it out...cuz they dun have a good impression of how u treat me liao....i really feel very fake now....

But, i.....i really dunno wat to do....i was so happy to receive ur sms juz now that i teared....i.....never mind....i really dunno wat to do....

i want to talk to someone...but i dunno who...how...i dunno wat i want...i dunno...dunnoDUNNODUNNODUNNO....

i...i.....i dun even know if i mean anything to u...i....i sucks...i should be alone..
mayb should not go out... shut myself up....mayb....i SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAYBISHOULDNOTBEINTHISWORLD....SHOULDIBEGONE???SHOULDI????

2007-02-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS MY 18 th BIRTHDAY!!!(1/2/2007)

I'm 18 already...wahaha...I'm old...*sianz*
But today i had a VERY BIG surprise....
And i NEARLY cried out...thank god i never....got tears only....heehee....
I celebrated at my Ah Bu's(Pris) place....

Firstly, i tot no one was going to celebrate with me...and i was kind of disappointed...heehee...
But, i got suspect abit cuz i saw wat W.P ask pris...so ya...paiseh ar....heehee...
But cuz pris told me that i need to do the SQL cuz da jie com spoilt...den i'm worried that i cannot do well...so i didnt really bother abt my celebration...cuz i tot examz coming...so its ok... :)

And, my goody frenz(Law,Lucas,Zoe,Alan,DaJie) after sch juz all went onto another bus....which is 106 den i need take passport size photo...so i didnt follow and i follow pris...and took 105 with mala....heehee....as i was worried for the SQL i didnt really got the mood to know where they are going...so i didnt ask much....

After taking of photos....Me went to pris hse....

DEN SUDDENLY, before i knew it... They came out from the side of the front door....singing...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WENTING....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....
(followed by chinese version)

I was so shocked that i didnt know wat to say....cuz as i said i suspected but....i didnt really know wat will happen and it all happen too sudden....and i was so touched...when Lucas walked in with the cake in the hand with the rest of my frenz behind.... I was so shocked...that there were tears...OH MY GOD!!! FIRST TIME!!!!

Den after that, we celebrated at pris hse...and AH MA!!! cooked for me....oh my god!!! im so XIN FU for today...heeheee....

After that....i got to meet my bf...so HAPPY!!!
He gave me a small bear bear...heehee...very cute!!!
Thank you~~

So HAPPY today....I will never forget my 18th birthday!!!

18th BIRTHDAY WAN SHUI!!!

WOOOHOOO~~~

LOVE YOU all!!!
MUACKZ.....
THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!

2007-01-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

Today(27/1/07)
I went to SAKURA (orchard) to have buffet...
Oh my god!!So nice...but pity i didnt eat much...cuz too hungry till full liao...
But also kind of exp...for my current situation...cuz it cost $26 in weekdays but $28 for weekend and other special days...heehee... :)
But i went with my ite frenz...heehee...We had quite alot of fun there....

Should go try out if those haven try...altot exp...but if u are a BIG eater...and very hungry feel free to go there man... And they got nice ice cream too...weeeee~~
and the TEMPURA!!!WOOOHOOO!!!

Check it out man...
But come to think of mon...i sianz...cuz got ERP EXAM!!Haven study...

AH bu!!rmb take care of ur leg ar...
And we were lucky enough to catch the last train...heehee...
And i enjoyed my day today!! :)

Dun say i lazy never post ar...LAW korkor...heeheee.....

2006-12-03T01:17:00.000+08:00

oh my god...today(2/12/2006) something damn funny thing happen...

First time in my life that i ever seen dis man...

A MAN IN A G-STRING!!
RED IN COLOUR...
LACES TYPE....
THERE IS A HOLE RIGHT AT HIS ASS THERE!!
OH MY GOD!!

i cant believe it man...there is really such kind of person...
I was so DAMN shock..when i seen it...and it was like in the afternoon...around 12 plus ba...
OH MY GOD!!!
The most INTERESTING thing that had happen in today!!!

Woooo~~Scary!!!

And i got to kown quite alot of things today...
INTERESTING THINGS!!...

And i miss u dearly...Deardear... :)

2006-11-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes...i feel bad for not going out with u all...but sometimes i feel extra there...

i wish i could read peoples' mind....and know wat they are thinking...

And without them telling me...i know...i understand...wat they are thinking abt...

Izzit that good??That would be fun....

But afterall, i feel bad...sorry....

2006-11-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

Yoyo...

Kind of happy today...Cuz The Whole Family of The 9 of Us went to Marina South together...to eat...altot i didnt eat much..still very fun...:)

When i came out of the MRT station...i was shock...not becuz alot of ppl...is becuz i heard someone calling me...scary...out of no where...i heard mine name...heehee... :)...Anyway...guess who is it that i see...is TURTLE!!! Oh my god..."POP" out from nowhere one...

Dunno swim out from where one...mayb from Singapore River...hehe... So Lame!!

And...we waited for the bus for like so long la...and the ppl there kept on coming to promote their stall.....EEEEEeeeee....so not nice one...still come promote....bluff ppl one....give us one more can of water only ma...big ar....hehe....KNS!!! The food so Suckx...

So people out there...never believe those ppl that approach you when u come out of the MRT station...bluff ppl...hehe...

So in the end we had to cramp with other ppl on the bus to the BU FEI....wahaha....
And we went to CHONG BANG(if i never spell wrong)..hehe...The food there is no bad....
So u ppl can go there try....Anyway...almost all the food there is the same few ones la...haahaa...

And....I eat till kind of painful sia~~ Cuz kena from the "PiPi PiarPiar" butter...Oh my god!!! Damn painful la...But still i enjoyed myself...very fun....

SO HAPPY to see all of us together again!!!! We should come out more often ma...den more fun... And we chit chat and eat till around 9.30pm...den we went back...cuz parents started calling liao...so....no choice...hehe....

And we were all having a GREAT time on the MRT...Joking...Laughing...Etc Etc....its been a very very long time since we had such good time liao....

And we all smell like the FOOD....wahaha...

Anyway....
IM VERY HAPPY TODAY TO SEE ALL OF YOU ALL!!!
MUACKZ~~~
LOVE YOU ALL...

2006-11-13T00:57:00.000+08:00

wats this man....i think i bother too much of this problem...
i shall not bother anymore...since its lecture to u...there is nth i can do....

i shall stay out of this from NOW!!say watever u want...whether i am lecturing u or juz telling u... there is nth i can do...

mayb u should think why all this happen....u said after your sch reopen it will be back to normal...or mayb better... but we dun see any changes in u... u are still the same...

are u the first time let me shoot...now u know wats the feeling like to shoot ppl when the person juz say one sentence...let u shoot until u got nth to say...or dun even bother replying u...

well....dis will be the last post abt this and everything...i really dunno wat to say liao...mayb i cared too much ba....i shall let it be den....

anyway, if u find me too KPO.....im sorry....i cant help shooting u....cuz i cant stand the sight of u that kaobei attitude...and the way u talked...the way u acted....is like we all owe u one....

anyway... this wont happen liao...this will end once i finish my post..and hopefully...everything will be back to normal...

dun worry...i will treat all of u back to normal...i will juz shut up and keep my mouth shut...and keep my hands to myself....

sorry for everything....

2006-11-10T00:20:00.000+08:00

i juz wanted to tell u that...
i dunno im bothering u...
sorry....
im at fault....

im the not understanding one....
i better dun disturb u liao...
i know im irritaing...sorry...
hope i wont bother u so much....
i..........
really........
at........
a......
loss....
of....
words.....
why must u treat me dis way???
u want it izzit???
u want me to say it out again?????
why????why????
i am very upset now....
i want someone to talk to now....
but......
never mind.....

2006-11-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

wats dis man...i am really tired..cuz i ate the med....and i wanted to go home after visiting my bro...told u i dun wanna go liao...cuz only three person can see at one time...den early in the morning call me wake up to go...in the end i cant go in...den sit outside thru out....wat the heck...waste my time....monday o lvl maths...oh my god!!!

Now i kena scolding from dad...wats dis man??is my bro black face...when i was doing work for u i didnt do anything or face black lor...i do for so many years....den didi only did it for a week...den he face black den u come scold me...wat the heck...NOT FAIR!!!

Wats this...why is all this happening to me....did i miss something??wat wrong did i do???can someone pls tell me....wat is dis....

i need someone one....currently....but....never mind... i still have another problem...haiz...
haiz...
why so many problems one...
SUCKS!!!!FUCK!!!!

2006-11-03T22:26:00.000+08:00

wats happening???
So many couples on the bus today...
Really miss those times...
but wat to do...
I really dunno...
Wats happening???
Wat happen to us??
Its like.......we........are........total........strangers......liao......

I dun like wat is happening now...
This sucks...
Wat are eqdmr???
Wat are eqdmr???
he xnt zkk vdqd sn sqdms xntq eqdmr chr vzx.....
gzhy...gzhy....

cdzq...vgx ltrs t sqdzs ld chr vzx???
vgx???

2006-11-03T01:25:00.000+08:00

wats happening yest??
all dis sucks....
i cared too much i guess...
is this the end??
i really dunno...
wats happening??
i having test later on....but....nvm...

All the best for ur exam...
Take care....

Dis year sucks man...SUCKS!!!

2006-10-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

sianz...dear...going oversea liao...u sure u buy the sweater for me??sure anot....if no money den dun need buy for la...heehee...know u got heart can liao la...heehee...

So sianz now...haiz...school so sianz...the lesson so sianz...haiz....

Also dunno wat to post...

But can see u...i happy liao...wahaha....

2006-10-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

today my MMC spoilt again...wats wrong with me man??go eat fish and co. den stomach pain...KNS!!!den now card spoilt...juz buy not long only....den now like that...wats that...waste money...something wrong with my phone???wats wrong???haiz...sucks....not my day today....